Today fucking sucks...

Sigh...

Everyone what Audrey here Audrey there...

And when i was down no less...

Didnt feel like going home...

Decided to take bus home...

Then saw "that" route that we always took...

Unconsciously started walking in that direction...

Had a long walk down memory lane...

All the memories that we shared walking down "that" route came back to me...

I remembered the things we did and talked about...

Why are we this way now?

My heart tightened...

It hurts...

I miss you so much...

If only u'd know...

It's so ironic...

Others know how i feel...

Yet...

U yourself don't know how i feel about you...

Heh i'm a pathetic wreck...

I pledged not to think of u...

To forget u...

But u still linger in my mind from day to day...

And when I'm down...

U're the only one i think of...

How i wish u are here with me right now...

To console me...

Like u always did...

What did i do?

Okay yeah just ignore me for no reason...

Heh i guess i'm really destined to be pawns eh?

When i've served my purpose i'll just be cast aside...

How many more times will this cycle repeat itself?

I never learn...

To trust others again and again...

It's so painful that i should've quiited after once or twice...

But nooooo...

I decided to continue...

Heh i fucking deserve it :) :D

Excess joy brings about tears,excess sorrow brings about laughter

Nothing can be more true than this.

I cried...

and cried...

Until a hole was there...

When it was over...

I found myself laughing really hard...

I'm crazy.

Looked through some old stuff in the com...

Found 3 photos that i forgot we took...

Those were taken during that time u went out a lot with Thomas...

Everyday..

It was Thomas this Thomas that...

And when that time Thomas sad u're his...

I didnt know what to do...

And when u said there was nth between u and him...

U dont know how relieved i was...

I thought...

Maybe...

I still stood a chance...

But now...

Even though Thomas is not there anymore...

What's happening between us?

Sighs...

Do u know?

Not one day has gone past without me thinking about u...

But what about u?

Are u seriously okay with not talking to me at all?

Do i really mean that little to u?

I've got a little bit of motivation to study now...

But as long as my feelings for u and this issue is not resolved...

I will never truly be able to focus on my studies...

So many things i want to tell u...

So many questions i want to ask...

Where,when and how do i start?

I cant bring myself to approach u...

I don't know...

All that i know...

Is that i still care about u...

So much that it hurts...

I'd wait...

No matter how long...

If u'd eventually come around...

But it's just not possible yea?

After all i'm not worth it (:

These few days at home been nth but bullshit...

Havent been able to get much studying done...

Everything's just f-ed up...

I'm getting frustrated easily...

I get that standard empty feeling in my heart again...

No one even bothered to look for me...

Well...

They wont even accept if i asked them out...

Why doesnt anyone live near me?

Why do my house have to be so far away?

If only someone lives near my house...

We could just hang out and maybe study together no?

Cant concentrate when I'm all alone...

Loneliness is too overbearing...

Sigh...

It'd be nice...

If u'd come over...

And sit for a little while with me...

Just like what we used to do...

Or maybe i could go over...

But...

Sighs...

Ah well...

Who could comfort me in my time of needs?

No one's ever there...

I just need someone...

Anyone...

To accompany me...

Friends and Childhood Memories

I knew that it would come sooner or later...

But i just cant bring myself to accept reality...

Life...

Why do u always have to take away people who are important to me?

First was her...

And now Willy...

Soon it's gonna be Wilson...

And then Steven...

Everyone's going away one by one...

It seemed like only yesterday...

That we were kindergarten kids...

Playing around and having fun...

Was all we cared about...

We had sleepovers...

We talked cock...

Shared secrets that only we know...

There were fights here and there...

But eventually we are still the best of friends...

We enjoyed each other's companies throughout these 13 years...

There're no secrets and things that we won't feel comfortable sharing...

I'm happy for u all...

That u all found ur own goals and targets...

I'm wishing all of u the best...

But...

I still can't let go...

It's gonna be hard...

Not being able to see u all for quite some time...

Sure...

There's msn and facebook...

But it's still different...

Why do life have to be so bothersome...

As we grow up...

Why do we have to deal with goodbyes?

If only I could be a child forever...

Living everyday without worries...

Sighs...

Thx for all the memories guys...

U all are the best things that happened to me...

I hope u all achieve all ur targets...

As for me...

I don't know what I can do...

I'm a loser...

But thanks for treating a failure like me so nicely for so long...

Sacrifice and Love

The flirt is such an asshole...

Even after Ling gives him so much...

Even after she tried so hard...
He's still not moved...

And called her irritating...

And said he hate her this kind of girl...

Very irritating to him...

I wanted to smack him...

If someone were to give up everything she had and sacrifice everything for me...

I'd straight away accept her...

And slowly learnt to love her...

Even if she didn't cross my mind before...

I'd give up the one I like...

The one who won't treasure me...

And choose the one that cares about me...

But oh well...

No one's willing to do that for me...

I'm just an insignificant existence everywhere...

So when i heard that flirt...

I wanted to punch,kick and assault him...

How could he do that...

To someone who treasured him...

If only someone treasured me like that...

I won't take her for granted...

Cos i know...

How hard it is...

To be the one longing for someone...

To be cast away even when u really cared for that other person...

But all u ultimately wanted...

Is for her to be happy...

And somehow wishing that u'll be the one that cause that...

Sigh...