Fallen Shinigami

Been more than a month since I last posted...
Been wanting to post since a few weeks back...
But always emoing until I forgot...
Sigh...
Happiness always last for a short while huh?
And after all that I've done...
We're still back to the same old spot...
To the same old square one...
Sigh...
What do u want from me?
I try to avoid u...
And u come looking for me...
Shaking every part of my determination to forget u...
But after a while...
U start ignoring me againg...
And u start replying me with ur one two words messages...
Why did u even bother to start?
It was a hard decision to stop seeing u and messaging u despite all the urge I bottle up inside...
But just like that, u crush it all effortlessly...
I dont know what I should do anymore...
Maybe I'm fucked up...
Maybe I'm a whiny little loser...
But I've been trying to change...
To be thinner and fitter...
To be more firm and more mature...
All just for u...
But...
Seems like u wont be moved no matter what...
Sigh...
I'm really at a loss...

Well Joseph said that I should get my priorities set straight first...
Do all the other stuffs first...
But how?
All I think about...
All I miss here...
Is u...
U are everywhere I go...
Everyone I see...

Maybe I should just walk away...
But I can't do it if u're going to keep coming and going...
U might as well take my heart...
And leave...
I don't need it anymore...
I can't seem to look at another girl in that way after I met u...
Sighs...