Sighs...

Reaching home early...

Without anymore stress about prelims...

Is in fact worse...

Even though I had to slog hard during prelims...

At least they diverted my attention away from thoughts of u...

But now that I'm all here alone...

With nothing to do...

U keep popping up in my head...

I msged u ytd...

But ur replies were "okay.haha" or "nah.haha."

What am i supposed to reply back?

And u dont wanna study with me anymore...

Sighs...

Maybe u don't need me in ur life...

But I definitely need u in mine...

U take away all my anxieties just by being around...

When u're there...

I know that everything's gonna be fine...

It hurts...

My heart feels like it's being pricked by many needles...

Sighs...

Maybe i held on too tight...

But I'm a mere human being...

An existence enshrouded by anxiety, worries and fears...

I didn't mean to hurt...

Just to put u first...

I was scared...

Scared of...

Losing u...

Of being far away from u...

Of something happening to u...

I want to chat with u again...

Like how we used to...

Sitting under the void deck...

Ranting and talking randomly for hours...

Then I'd send u back home...

I...

Love u...

More than words can ever describe...

Cant stay for long...
Maths paper tmr morning...
Seriously,life's a bitch...

Just when things pick up and i enjoy that small little bit of happiness,

It takes a 180 degree toll on me...

It's like...

Every little bit of joy...

Is a step for me to fall further into despair...

Well whatever...

Been a while since my last post eh?

Stuffs happened...

I had my share of joy,laughs and fun...

But now I'm back here to let go of my sorrow

Looking back at what happened, and things the way they are now...

It all seemed like an illusion...

I could msg u again...

U went to my house to study with me...

And u invited me to go to Malaysia with u...

It all seemed too good to be true...

I knew that eventually we would stop talking again...

But then,all I thought about was just spending every moment fully...

I don't know...

I'm having troubles explaining how I feel right now...

It's too much for mere words to describe...

I didn't realise that the day when everything turned back would come so fast...

Now we're barely even talking again...

I just don't know...

U apologised and asked me if i feel offended on Monday...

Well i wasn't...

After all,i don't have a right to be offended...

I know ur friends are important to u...

And i'm less important compared to them...

Maybe just sad...

But u don't need to apologise...

I don't wanna be a source of worry and restriction to u...

Most importantly,i don't want u to feel bad because of me...

It's enough that i'm the only one who suffers...

I can take it all...

Cause what u gave me were priceless...

So i'm willing to pay this price...

Even f it takes forever...

Just be happy :)

It's a good enough way to repay me...

Guess i'm a weird guy...

I get sad when i'm ignored...

And when she showed concern...

I get sad too...

I was happy when i saw that i might get to dance with u...

But must u avoid me deliberately like that?

Am i so hard to look at?

That u have to change ur partner to avoid me...

Or that u detest me so much as to do that?

Yeah,i admit,i may seem like a stalker,i waited for u everyday,asked u about what u were doing and other things related to u...

But i did all those because i really care for u and u mean so much to me...

Sighs...

What happened to us?

What about the memories we shared?

The way u act now makes it seems like everything was a mere dream...

Tell me that's not true...

I wanna go back to how we used to be...